As things are beginning to be completed more frequently, I think I’ll try posting an update once a week. Hopefully that will cut down on how often I need to repeat myself 😉
Last week began in quite a slump. We received a document requesting our child’s birth certificate as proof of age from immigration. The same day our agency received there copy, as well as a fellow Guinea family’s approval letter for the exact thing we were applying for. Two families, same agency, same program, same orphanage, same US government office resulted in two different case officers and two different outcomes. Welcome to adoption, a world where logic is a mere memory of yesteryear and urgency is myth. Between emails and a forced phone call, our approval was granted Friday. To be honest, I’m not really sure what we were approved for, but it has to do with getting the kid into the country so I’m glad we’ve got that taken care of.
Friday happened to be a busy day for our adoption process, as I also drove out to Dallas (since all the Tarrant County passport offices are closed! When did that happen?!… 5 months ago, that’s when) to get my passport taken care of. As I was checking in for my appointment time, the observant lady behind the glass saw what I was needing and informed me that I could just as easily mailed my paperwork in. I told her it was an adoption thing and I needed person in front of me to tell me it was all in order. I don’t think she got it… Regardless, that will be in hand this weekend.
Just to keep it all straight with the what’s next questions, I’ll keep it simple with the immediate step to follow. Now we begin the application for his visa. It’s the only thing that we can apply for online (YAY for no mailing system!) and it *should* go quickly.
Please note that the term *quickly* in adoption lingo could be anything less than a calendar month, a full year, or just an appropriate amount of time in regards to how life generally feels. In our experience thus far, the only thing that was *quick* and not in our control happened this time last year and was 5 weeks.
We are continuing to get this house ready for him/I’m pushing for projects that have been on our to-do list for years to finally get done. You know… tomato, tomato. They are mostly of the furniture construction variety, but then that leads to the ability to further organize and declutter. It’s really a win-win if I can get all parties on board.
Also- I don’t quite care for the photos of children with blurred or heart covered faces, since you can’t share their adorable smiles until later- This is common practice for waiting families. I’ve decided focus on his adorable feet. They’re just as cute, I swear. But apparently he’s used to JNCO style shorts… I’m afraid I’m in short supply over here. Bummer.
We may be the first direct connection that you have to adoption, we may not. Maybe you’ve lost friends from their journey and not knowing how to help or that you were always in the way. I get it. This is different for so many. It’s different for everyone when they first start, but it’s really not any different from wanting the best for your kids. It’s just that the best for your child, most likely is not the best for mine because of where they’ve been. For all things adoption, most of what you will learn makes so much sense, we just never thought of it that way or never considered the other perspective.
So if you’re interested in knowing a little more about what all of it means or what we’ll be doing personally feel free to take us to coffee (we’ll love you forever) or bring coffee over (also much love involved) and we’d be happy to chat it up. There are also some great reads out there like The Connected Child by Dr. Karin Purvis- currently at TCU and In On It by Elisabeth O’Toole for family and friends of adopting families. Daryn has actually read, underlined, and noted in The Connected Child. So I can’t find a single excuse for anyone with access to it. We’ve also heard from other’s outside of the adoption/foster world that this book as changed many of their parenting techniques with great response at home. No harm in reading a book.
Until next week