… to point a finger


nyc1935.jpegWhy is it that in certain situations us humans tend to blame someone else, yet at other times, we blame ourselves? We try to teach our youth (and even adults) that you must take responsibility for our actions though we all know how difficult that can be. However, there are significant moments where we feel that we are not only to blame, but that we are the only ones to blame. For instance, children with divorced parents have terrible times feeling that it’s their fault, that their parents somehow don’t love eachother any more because of something they did.  And from an outside perspective, or that of a parent, we are certain that that is not true. And despite constant confirmation, it’s still an issue for the child. I am blogging on this topic because I too have this overwhelming feeling of self blame. Though my parents are not getting divorced right now, I have this feeling of complete failure. For some strange reason kids look up to me- I haven’t figured out if it’s because they think I’m fun or what, but they do. And I use the term ‘kid’ loosely, in the sense that if you’re younger than me I might call you kid– But there have been several people who look at me as an older sybling of sorts. Despite my advice and prayer and discussion a few of them have traveled down the wrong path. And I know that we all make mistakes, we all sin, it’s inevitable, though we still strive to make it not so- but what do you do when someone who looks up to you travels down a path that you yourself have not taken? A path that you have discussed with them the dangers that lay waiting down that dark road. One where they at one time didn’t want to go and now… they find themselves trying to find the way back to the trail lit with the faith they had/have in Jesus. I know peer pressure is the main cause for teens or anyone to do something against reason, desire, or teachings. I know that once they have already traveled a path, actually been there, that all I can do is pray and be a friend. But why can’t I help but feel that if I would have said something stronger, or been more in tune with them, or maybe even tried to hang out with them that extra weekend… things would have been different. I know that you can’t live your life in regrets. A close friend of mine refuses to regret anything, but I feel that in all things there is to be a balance. In the midst of writing this blog I’ve come to realize that this is something parents must do everyday.  Not only are younger people looking up to them and learning from them and making mistakes, but these aren’t just any people, these are people that came from you, people that are of you. Hopefully I will be able to handle this problem of pointing the finger at myself in these times before I have children of my own.


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