A lesson to learn?

I attended my sorority’s annual weekend retreat last week only to come home to a house with a water leak and about 1/3 of our remaining boxes drying out in various places. At that moment, I realized that there must be a lesson of some sort to learn from this. I mean, what other purpose does all this serve? So being that it’s now Friday and we’ve had our water back on for less than 24 hours, I feel that I can look back at this situation and attempt to give a good summation of what I was intended to get from this mess of a week.

Earlier this week, a friend, who’s like my little brother, forwards me a message from an old high school band mate of ours whom I can hardly remember. Her message is to the point, but it’s easy to see the emotion coming through. In the same night that her grandmother past, the house that she was living in with her brother and their friend caught fire while they were at the hospital. It started in the room her brother and her share and they lost everything. Including 3 of their 4 pets. So in the midst if my personal life catastrophe, I thought, I’m lucky the guys didn’t burn the house down while I was gone, even though I came home to a leak, I still had a home to leak and my stuff was still here and in tact.

In response to my lil bro’s message, I sent out my own to my LifeGroup (or sunday school  for those of you who roll old school) to see if they could contribute to helping these kids get back on their feet. I’m proud of my group for their response to my call- so much so that I will think of them the whole time that I am attempting to mail all this stuff to Lubbock.

In the end, I can’t say that I believe that I was taking my life situation for granted, but I’m not the one to ask. However, I do know that I appreciate what I have more than before and that I’m glad we decided to have a ‘donations bin’ in our garage.

To inherit the earth…

My journey has began. It will be long and hard, but already I see the pieces fitting seamlessly together. This journey also has a name, Inheritance Ranch Children’s Home. I want this place to save children from the instability of the foster care system, the constant bouncing from house to house. I want the ranch to be a place to call home until adoption. A place for kids to learn values and how to set goals. An environment where they have opportunity to grow and see their potential for success. I want them to have a room that reflects their personality and their style- a room of their own. I want them to be able to dream and to know that even though a family might never come to embrace them, that they might be adopted and be given an inheritance far greater than this world. That is my goal. It is big, I know, but I can envision it, and that is the beginning.

 

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth

matthew 5:5

L’hiver Tisse

So, in trying to earn a few extra bucks here and there around my crazy school schedule, I’ve decided to start something of a business. I really have enjoyed this new endeaver, I just hope it catches on quick!

www.winterweaves.webs.com

 {I have some summer styles too }

Our ‘walk into the sunset’

I always here the phrase ‘life has a funny way of working itself out’, or something that that extent… but really it’s that God has a funny way of rearranging our lives.

In the end, I absolutely adored our wedding, not to be boastful, but it was ideal- minus the lack of dancing- but at the time I’m not sure I had the energy for some twists, let alone any shouts. Everything went off without a hitch and my in-laws were behind the scenes, around the scenes, in the scenes working things out- heck, there were several times where for me, they were the scene- which made the day all the more enjoyable. Our good friend, Chase- who just so happens to be a missionary (ironic right?) performed the ceremony for us and had THE most beautiful ’speech’ for the ceremony- I mean- talk about fitting into the ‘not expected’ category, this was far from traditional, but I couldn’t have picked one that better fit Daryn and I.

Only 2.5 weeks into marriage, I’ve got a new job, we’re looking forward to moving,  we might get a puppy, ALL of our bills are paid off ON-TIME… AND we have money in the bank to spare (and i’m not talking gas money either)… and our apartment is a complete disaster. It was clean, I promise. And I was finding places to put my clothes in the closet and the kitchen was all organized- then sometime last week after we had company things started to go down hill to where we are now… thus there won’t be any naps until something changes… I mean, who can nap in all that mess?!

Anywho- Life is good and I can’t wait for this Whittaker family to have it’s first Thanksgiving and Christmas… not to mention my birthday in there somewhere

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear…

He is truly amazing, isn’t He?

I must admit that I am ashamed at my recent level of appreciation for my Lord. With all this wedding planning going on, medical trips to put my jaw back in place, and my multiple (resurfacing) family issues, I have started to notice a decline in the joy that I receive from knowing the Father. But in my pain and angst, He has brought me to a place of such awe and disbelief of His glory that I feel that I have surpassed my spiritual state prior to all this emotional wretchedness.

From all the inner turmoil that had been, which is beginning to seem unending, instilled within me from my family, I began to look towards my friends. Unfortunately, at that time, I became hard pressed to find a one in which, for just a moment, didn’t need advice with their own issues. Who wasn’t looking to me for guidance or prayer. I needed someone to be there for me and I was at a loss. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love helping people. I love seeing how God works in my friends’ lives- and you can never really know how much He really did unless you know all of what really happened. And my joy is even greater still if He chose me to carry His message, His word. If you haven’t experienced that type of blessing, I suggest that you pray that you will before to leave this world, because to this day I haven’t found a thing that can compare to seeing God’s handiwork come through you, and most of the time you have no idea that He did until after it’s all complete.                                                                                                                                                Anyway… I have been praying through this whole engagement that God would bring me the peace “which passeth all understanding”, and I think I am on my way to finding that peace.

In all honesty, this week has been terribly horrid. And that in itself is a major understatement. But when I was looking the most for the love of God in his people, in my time of greatest need, there it was. Out of nowhere (quite literally, I was floored when this happened), I get a call from a friend who’s practically going to ease my mind. She just picked up all this stuff and is dealing with it. It’s just, ….I am still speechless. Another friend has decided to give an incredible gift that I can’t even fathom accepting… however we’re practically identical so I am well aware that in the end she will win, even if I think I did for a while… she’ll still win. And yet a third friend, who, well quite honestly her love language is service so it just comes more natural to her, but still, I can’t express how proud of her I am as to how well she’s managed a lot of changes these past few months- she has found the time and energy to help in all this- she just told me last night, “Oh hey, by the way, I’m helping with this, so what to do think if we did it ‘this way’”. At this point my spiritual self feels as though my jaw is hanging so open that it’ll dislocate itself. I have no words to truly depict the love and charity that my friends have chosen to show me.

And so to deal with this roller coaster of emotions- all I have left in me is to just sit and breathe, for His grace truly is sufficient.

“And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before” Job 42:10

Funny thing about roller coasters…

Well- I’m still with my old job… but Daryn now has a new one. Which is great! And even better that he actually enjoys working again. We also had our engagement pictures taken this weekend! Which was amazing! Andyes, I know you’re supposed to do that around the time you get engaged, but really now, who checks those things. So this would be the upside of the roller coaster I call life…

The down side began Monday morning when my jaw dislocated again. As if I didn’t need to be at work making money any more than normal, this happens at work, so I go to get Daryn. Long story short, and on our 2nd doctor and 2nd bill (though no ambulance or ER’s this time), I’ve been knocked out again and my jaw is back in place. On top of that- we have no insurance. So. Thus begins the plummeting feeling that hits you right as you look over the edge of the hill and you just know that this one is gonna be the one that might put you over the edge.

In an attempt to level out this nauseating feeling, we’re selling things on eBay (nothing we didn’t need to get rid of already mind you, we haven’t become overly desperate), Daryn’s looking to pick up a second job and I have started a business. Kinda. Well, it’s a work in progress. I’m selling scarves. I know it’s limited, but I’m hoping to expand into hats, which wouldn’t be hard, and then later mittens/gloves, though I’ve never done those before… we’ll see how those go. I’m already working on a website. I have models and ’sales people’ in place. Now I just need to actually make my first full batch to offer or show as samples. So here we go…

Oh- I’ll add the web page to here when it’s done.

New job…

So I’m currently in the process of trying to find a new job. And guess what else… so is Daryn. And we’re only 71 days from the big day. Then 2 months after that we get to move, into a house, an apartment, a townhome… something, but we’re moving. Did I mention that we’re both going to school this semester? Oh joy. Nothing like multiple major life changes all at once. So somewhere, deep within my inner core, I have to find where God hid that thing called perseverance. Ok, so maybe God didn’t hide- maybe I lost it, though I’m not quite sure when that happened.

To be honest, a big part of me is looking forward to the next 4 months, however crazy they may be. I like conquering a challenge. And yes, I will conquer this. I say that not to be boastful, but because I know that God has given us ‘time’.  Think about it.  None of these things that is currently causing my jaw to ache will be the death of me. In time, these things will pass. So, in a sense, God has guarenteed our survival… but it’s up to us if we’re dragged through time, or we manage to manuever through it, or on a rare occasion we find ourselves running. My Christian life has taught me that it’s merely a choice- as if God were saying, “here’s the situation, how would you like to go through it today?” Only by following His word can we move through time via any other means but on our face. And the more you look to Him and have faith, the easier it will be, and then suddenly you’ll notice that you’re practically gliding through something that once seemed impossible.

I don’t know, maybe that doesn’t make much sence to you, or you can’t related… but it works for me, and it motivates me to be more obedient to my God.

Opportunity for Peace

Love and Faith

Yesterday started the 100 day count down to the Big Day. So, in 99 days I will become Mrs. Whittaker (I can’t help but think ‘teacher’ when I hear that name. Maybe it’ll eventually mean ‘architect’ too). It seems almost surreal to think that it’s actually happening. Almost. But in all this wedding hub-bub, school prep, and gas-guzzling thing I call life, I find that I have peace. Yes, things are stressful and I haven’t quite managed to see the brightly gleaming light at the end of the tunnel that I know is there just yet, but at the end of the day I can’t help but smile. God has blessed me with an amazing life. I’m getting married! God guided me to an amazing boy who I had the opportunity to grow up with, to learn with, to love. After accepting his offer of salvation I would have to say that taking that opportunity would have to be the best choice I ever made. AND (uh! I love that there’s an ‘and’) his family is amazing. I knew, years ago, that if Daryn and I, for some reason, didn’t work, that I would still keep in touch with his family. They have become my family, and I am overwhelmingly grateful for all that they have done. 

A while back, a dear friend of mine shared a philosophy of theirs withme. They feel that all God ever does withhis children is offer them opportunities, thus in being a child of God you have an unimaginable amount of potential. If you pray for patience or wisdom, He’s not going to just bestow it upon you. He’s going to give you an opportunity to become more patient, to expound upon what wisdom you have, if any (let’s face it, only a percentage of people truly have knowledge and a minute amount of them actually have wisdom, so don’t feel offended- I’m probably right there with ya . But this opportunity thing doesn’t just apply to qualites. Over time and alotof thought and study and observation, I’ve come to agree with my friend and to see that when one takes the opportunities that God has given them, they are able to be at peace in God’s Will. 

My most recent mini-revelation deals with looking back on how I got to my ”soon-to-be-Whittaker” state. This whole opportunity thing starts withprayer, a desire to be within God’s Will and heart, however, at the time I met Daryn I wasn’t saved. I didn’t even go to church- so clearly I wasn’t the one praying that God would lead and guide me to the man of my dreams. And at that particular time, Daryn wasn’t really all that spiritual. He was dealing with alotof internal warfare about how a kid his age should act, what to do with all these “do I have what it takes?” dilemas. About what to do withthe impending doom that was sure to follow if he dared to venture into the realm of girls. Of dealing withhis older brother (whom we both love dearly) who, frankly, did a number on his self-esteem. So being in 7thgrade, neither of us were actually doing what was best for us, praying. After some deduction, I can only conclude that this had to come from his mother, maybe with some help from our youth pastor, lol. But, anywho, God didn’t answer those prayers for Daryn’s future with me sitting on his doorstep one day, He gave us the opportunity of a lifetime- though disguised as a pre-high school crush. That same relationship is still an opportunity. It can end at any moment, up until November 1st around 2. At that point it becomes a promise, a commitment, a vow. Many say it’s a contract, but I disagree. It’s more than that. A contract doesn’t have every part of your being involved, your heart isn’t all wrapped up in it. If a contract is broken, you lose money, maybe a friend. If a vow is broken, there’s so much more at stake. So Thank You God for giving me this opportunity to follow Your plan. Thank You for giving me peace in it.

La Vie en Rose… peut-être

Life, so I have found, is an interesting thing. I know this may come to no surprise to you but nonetheless it always amazes me. It is what you make of it- completely! Or so you would think. One day you’ll be chuggin’ along in your routine and suddenly, as so it seems, God puts this quite awkward thing in the middle of your path. The option to ignore it is not there, you can’t stop living- and there are no visible choices of going around it. You must go through it. This is where faith steps in for me. Most of the time I like all of my ‘i’s to be dotted and my ‘t’s crossed, so when left standing in front of something completely unknown I feel like I should be checking my shoelaces, making sure I’m dressed properly, do I have extra batteries? I want to be prepared for anything. Now, I’m not sure as to how God looks at all my little habits and precautionary standards- I would like to think that He finds it humoring, I sure do sometimes. But in the end, the best thing that I can do to be ready is to study the Word, pray, and have faith. The last being the most important for me- Have you ever noticed how when you go for the things that are the hardest for you, I mean fall into it totally dependant on God, you always get a better result?

 So in the lives that we lead, despite all the ’How to better yourself’ books and talk show series, the best thing to do is to just take a deep breathe and step out on faith

The Reality. The Turn. The Walk

I wasn’t always a child of God

O the filth of the places I’ve often trod

I thought I was an individual blade of grass

springing up from the scattered seed.

Then suddenly things stopped adding up and

quickly became a “don’t tell even if they ask” kind of policy.

It felt as though I was all alone on a stage

and no one would applaud

When all along I was in a cookie-cutter people group

growing up out of the sod.

Until one day I was invited to church by a lowly friend

I could have never imagined the hurt and the pain that would extend

from my heart to my soul and would later overflow

to the reality that what I loved in life was a sin.

I began to see all the wrong I had done

And that God had sent His only begotten son

To die for all my transgressions and iniquities

My eyes had been opened, a tear rolled down my face

Softly, in the distance, a knock rapped upon the last soft place

of my heart and I knew that I was on the edge

The time had come to bid farewell to a life I once made a pledge.

As I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior

Joy overwhelmed my thoughts to think that later

I would hear the sweet heavenly sound of the symphony

Declaring the majesty of God our Father.

‘Tis such a sweet, sweet sound to hear that it is finished

To know that nothing could ever make His Grace diminished

For I could never be worthy

But still, on that day, He heard me!

So now as I constantly read and pray,

I try to walk with Christ each and every day

And share the word with those who haven’t heard

of the Amazing Saving Grace of the Lord.

But Oh! the things that I have come to find.

Some of which just blow my mind-

Like that only this world is bound by time

Or that the Holy Trinity is three in one

While talking with Himself, He’s also the Son.

What about when God took out Adam’s rib

To make Eve, so thankful He did!

And though many will get into an altercation

over the prophecying book of Revelations.

When is it that we will fly and ascend,

beginning, middle or end of the Tribulation?

There’s no way to know so don’t hate

It really doesn’t matter

If you know without a doubt

where you will be in relation to the pearly gates,

In or Out?

But Christians I must warn you!

That one day you’ll be walking tall,

Completely without a clue

that you’re about to fall.

Pride does seem to get the best of us these days

Especially when people get in our way…

Maybe you should check yourself

Before you put that Bible back on the shelf.

For keeping ourselves within reality

is a tricky thing you see,

And we are only human and we do make mistakes

but luckily for us we can pull through by faith.

So if you came just to enjoy the show

I hope that your mind has been challenged to grow

and to know that Jesus Christ is the key

by grace through faith are we saved,

Glory Be!